Things that piss me off

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa) 06/01/2015 at 16:46 • Filed to: None

1

35

People who base their car buying decision upon stupid bullshit like how many miles a car has, or how many cylinders it has and *only* on those criteria. Buy a 98 Dodge Stratus instead of a 96 Oldsmobile (with a super-low-mileage new 3800 Series II just put in it) because “it has 4cyl” and thus “gets better fuel economy” (it doesn’t)? You’re an idiot. Turning down a practically mint 2008 Ford Fusion because it has ‘too many miles’ even though we warranty all major drivetrain components for the duration of the lease? You’re an idiot and missing out on a pretty damn nice car.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 16:49

0

The Explorer we bought had 103k on the clock but it was so well maintained we couldn’t pass it up for the price even though we were stepping out of our comfort zone financing something with such high mileage

TheHondaBro > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 16:49

0

A V6 can get better fuel economy than a 4-banger if you know how to drive it.

Racescort666 > TheHondaBro 06/01/2015 at 16:54

6

Or if the 4-banger is an iron duke.

Mike > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 16:54

2

This is pretty much my mom. And seeing how domineering she was with my car-buying endeavours, it made shopping for a car a horrible experience.

“No, you can’t get that 9-2X, it has 76,000 miles. This Cobalt is the same price and it only has 40,000 miles.”

It’s also a piece of shit that my lanky 190cm frame literally doesn’t fit in.

Thank god I’m finally 18 and in control of my own bloody finances....

PS9 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:00

5

“Hello, sir! I’m here to get a car. No, put that away. That one has pushrods in it, and everyone knows those are inferior. I’m not buying anything with a pushrod in it. Hey, that’s a supra right? It’s gotta be fast! What are you on about, ‘Mark 3, Mark 4’? Nonsense! Every Supra is fast just like in the movies. We know that because none of them have pushrods in them. No, for the last time, I don’t care that you like Corvettes I don’t want to see that. And you can stop trying to snow me on that cars performance, it’s got pushrods and LEAFSPRINGS. How fast is a car supposed to go with leaf springs in it? Really?

Pushrods are definitely the wrong way to go, and I’ll be damned if I buy something that was built doing things the wrong way. Ohh, is that a 911!?”

-Jake’s first Murder victim

Slant6 > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 06/01/2015 at 17:01

0

High mileage?

dogisbadob > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:04

0

Those FWD 3800’s are difficult to work on though. You need to tile the engine with a crowbar just to change the spark plugs. Of course you can give this a pass if it’s supercharged :)

Transverse V6 engines SUCK! Two valve cover gaskets instead of one, so the oil leaks twice as fast, and getting to the back can be impossible. Now, I’d totally take a longitudinal-engine TL.

And buying based on the number of cylinders is totally fine if the number is odd hehehe

Jedidiah > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:05

0

Or you could get a 66 Olds instead of the 96 Olds and say “Fuck mileage, I want an awesome car”

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > dogisbadob 06/01/2015 at 17:09

2

I think the GM supercharged V6s are a general fail.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Jedidiah 06/01/2015 at 17:12

1

Indeed.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > dogisbadob 06/01/2015 at 17:12

2

Yes, but it’s a 3800. You could use moonshine as fuel and donkey piss as oil and it’ll still run happily through 250,000 miles. And it’s low-mileage.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > PS9 06/01/2015 at 17:13

2

*twitch*

itschrome > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 06/01/2015 at 17:13

4

I think you do not know what your talking about. The l67/L32 are amazing engines!

itschrome > TheHondaBro 06/01/2015 at 17:16

0

hell I get about the same MPG with my Northstar as my misses does in her 4cyl Malibu*

*based only on road trip highway millage. enter the city and yeah I can’t even say that with a straight face. Also you kind of need to speed for this to be true, my car gets best gas milage at about 75MPH vs she does betterin the 55/60 range. My car at 55/60 does about 22/23MPG at 75 it will stay about 28MPG.. gearing is weird yo.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Mike 06/01/2015 at 17:16

0

My mom bought a 20,000 miles PT Cruiser that was 9 years old. Because low mileage. Now she has a 30,000 mile Saturn Sky.

this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:16

0

Hey, at least those are better criteria than “hmm, I don’t like that color.”

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > TheHondaBro 06/01/2015 at 17:17

0

A V6 can get better fuel economy than an I4 a lot of the time. I see 3800s break their EPA fuel economy ratings on a regular basis, but I have yet to see a Chrysler mill even come close to what it’s supposed to get. Weight of the car in relation to the engine’s power also has a lot to do with it.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 06/01/2015 at 17:17

2

..high? God, that’s barely broken in.

Textured Soy Protein > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:17

1

I spent a summer in college selling cars. It was a new Toyota dealer, not a buy-here-pay-here place like you. But there were still situations where people would do things that defied my logic.

Like the little 5 foot tall yuppie mom with baby #2 on the way who decided now was the time for a 3-row vehicle, came in to look at a Sequoia, and physically recoiled when I mentioned the loaded up awd Sienna was $4k less and way nicer inside, because heaven forbid she be seen behind the wheel of a minivan. I wanted her to get the Sienna because

A minivan is better at suburban mommy-mobile duties than a full-size body-on-frame SUV.

This was right when the 2nd gen Sienna first came out. The maximum discount we’d give was $500 off sticker. She’d be able to haggle several grand off the Sequoia, so I’d make more on the Sienna.

You know what I learned? Don’t fight their logic. Sell them what they want and move on to the next customer. It’s hard enough to sell people a car they actually want, there’s no point trying to sell them a car they’re going to fight about.

Herr Quattro - Has a 4-Motion > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:19

1

May god have mercy on her soul.

qbeezy > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 06/01/2015 at 17:22

0

For those large body vehicles, 100k is just getting started!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Textured Soy Protein 06/01/2015 at 17:25

0

Wasted time is wasted money. Best to let them wallow in their stupid decisions.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata 06/01/2015 at 17:25

1

At least that’s a legitimate reason with some logic behind it. Buying for a ‘technical’ reason which is factually incorrect is just all bounds of stupid.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:30

1

Did I do right by you?

crowmolly > dogisbadob 06/01/2015 at 17:38

1

Not true. The plug by the O2 sensor is a bitch but it’s doable with the right tools.

Makoyouidiot > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 06/01/2015 at 17:51

0

High mileage is over 200k. Don’t buy into the “anything over 75k is high mileage” bs that oil manufacturers and car manufacturers push.

Makoyouidiot > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:53

1

Someone expressed amazement that my Fiat still runs with such high mileage a few days ago. I have a 2012 500 and just rolled over 60k. I still have 10k of warranty for fuck’s sake. People who are scared of mileage make me want to scream.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Slant6 06/01/2015 at 17:56

0

I live in the rust belt and a salt state at that.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 17:56

0

Live in the rust belt and a salt state. That’s high

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 18:17

0

V8? Check!

Low miles? Check!

V8? Check!

Low miles? Check!

I don’t know what you are going on about?

DPillar > Mike 06/01/2015 at 18:36

0

Don’t forget it will try to kill you if you put anything on the keyring.

DPillar > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 06/01/2015 at 18:39

3

Maybe they just wanted to say ...

Mike > DPillar 06/01/2015 at 20:53

0

This was during the start of those recalls, too. Thank god I eventually talked her into letting me get Bessie, my Mazda3. Made her happy with its magical 40k miles and better-than-I-can-ever-realistically-manage combined fuel economy, and it made me... content with its reasonable balance of playfulness and “being a hatchback”.

I still want that Saabaru, though. I’ll have one, one day....

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > itschrome 06/01/2015 at 21:10

0

It’s possible. My next door neighbor has had two of them go south; I base what I said on that.

BloodlessWeevil > dogisbadob 06/02/2015 at 10:09

1

Transverse V8s are a thing. That is all.